the past months

the past two years have been tough.  it was a swirl and a twirl, a roller coaster. 
now, as i sit here, having the opportunity to look back to that sad fate of my life, i can say i was indeed a troubled soul.  half of that "troubleness was to my contribution."  i was immature, naive and inexperienced.  but one should not take that as a cue to take advantage me.
i let some people fool me, and i was fooled.
i am beaming with contentment at this moment because at last, i am now thinking out of the box --- i am now out of the box.
i learned many things:
first, no one could help me but myself.  if i wanted to be out at the earliest possible time, i should have helped my self get out.  it was hard, but then again, what was done was done and everything's over now.
second, at times when i was down, i learned to look at people in different facets.  you will really know who is with you and who is not with you. and you'll know that some don't give a damn at all, they just add up to the issue.
i had the opportunity to meet some kinds of people with personalities that i didn't (at first, i thought i did) understand. i can say some were conceited, some just didn't care at all.  for a sensitive person like me, it was very tough. and it was even  more tough to pretend that it didn't affect you.
pretending is a tough  act, and i am glad i am not good at it, or else i would brand my self as conceited.
*sigh, glad i am out.


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