my thoughts at random

***blogging helps me a lot.  it serves as an outlet of what i feel. i also learn a lot from other people's entries. it is also a means of practicing my grammar, only that after each end, i find myself not satisfied with it.
***my mind is battling with my heart as of the moment. actually, on and off, on and off, it has always been a battle of the two. once, i let my heart win over my mind. i think i'm gonna let my mind win the battle this time.
***scared of letting my heart win? yes, i am. i took the risk before and it failed me. i'm not gonna take the risk again when i know what could be the possible end result.
***have you ever had this urge to peel every coating of a person who intrigues you? you want to make that secretive person trust you. you try to win that trust, in the process, you build a nice relationship. but as you get deeper and deeper to the core of the person, you would only realize that your efforts are futile. you'll just discover a shallow individual. it's like hunting for a treasure you're so sure that exists and after all the digging, you'll only find out there never was any in the first place.
***by the next time i would enter into a relationship, i swear to god i'd make sure it would be so discreet. not in the sense that i would be hiding it, but i'd keep it in such a way as to exclude other persons. i'm done with all the bullshit and the drama of the past.
***after a while, i was so convinced that i am on to a better start. actually, my life was starting to run smoothly. i even told myself at the time that i am whole again, that i am ready to enter  into a new relationship, that i am not anymore thinking about the past with pain and anger. but then, here you are in an ordinary day, talking to me. talking like we have conversed before, telling me one sad and intriguing fact. it made me think twice: shall i hope or not? suddenly, my defenses are on the brink of toppling down.
***one of the things that makes you think life is such a beauty: cozying up at home while the rain is pouring hard outside, a nice, hot soup is waiting for you and after that rewarding consumption, you doze off.
***i really am not the person who is into fights. but one cannot run away from such. when i know that a clash with a person is drawing near, i hold my ground, back a little step. i take time to know my opponent. i zero in on his/her weakest attribute. when the matter is still brewing, i strike at the most unexpected time. a smile will follow after because i know i had a piece of that person.
***i am not a witty person. i have to be prepared to say the perfect things at the perfect time. but when i am at the peak of my anger and i cannot anymore control my emotions, in one click, my sagacity surfaces. i say the things that i really mean to say and believe me, you don't want to see me in that situation. i slash wounds with my tongue.
***another attestation that life is beautiful: making out in bed on a rainy day. i miss making out very much.
***i find comfort in silence.
***i never am a shallow person.
***i am overly sensitive. and i am not called sensitive for nothing.
***i have a very long patience but once it snaps, it just snaps. there's no turning back.


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